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The Night Before Sophie’s Birthday

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“All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears—of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words ‘some assembly required.'” —Dave Barry

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This entry was written by kara, posted on March 29, 2009 at 10:29 pm, filed under Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.
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    evening walk I’ve been taking walks in the cemetery by our house. I’ve written about our next door “remembering place” before. It’s beautiful. I’m partly drawn to its orderliness. Walkways and drives lined with tall pines and flowering trees, stones in rows, fonts carved carefully. Our house is not orderly these days. We’re trying. Or not really. Basically it’s Lord of the Flies while Andy and I (sort of) work. Tonight after dinner we had a family meeting. Topics included waking up before noon, not waiting to eat lunch until 4 o’clock (and eating the cut-and-prepared-and-completely-ready-for-them veggies and fruits, not just carbs), limiting electronic time and helping out around the house. We like for the kids to feel like they have a voice in these family meetings so after we agreed on a very basic schedule we started sharing ideas on how to best keep the house somewhat orderly. It was then that Andy remembered one of our most favorite home videos. I’m putting a link to the two-minute clip in the comments. After watching I realized a lot of raising kids is just having the same family meetings over and over. (And maybe marriage too, ha.) Perhaps, in many ways, permanent orderliness is best reserved for death. (Still, I can’t even begin to express how happy I would be if Owen’s video solution actually happened on a daily basis.) Walking about a mile there and a mile back to pick this up justifies eating it all, no? Thankful for @midwaycafefortthomas and their super easy/sanitized pick-up process. Restaurant food feels so decadent! We have to grocery shop tomorrow. Considering Costco and haven’t been there since this all started. Any tips? (Need tp too.) Listening to the March 29th episode of This American Life, “The Test,” while I scrub down the porch. It’s a difficult listen, but a sobering lesson on why staying home is a must. My duty in this pandemic is so easy right now. So easy. Give it a listen if you’re able. The couple who is caring for a toddler while they both have it, the daughter who can’t visit her mom in the nursing home, the EMT who can’t comfort someone newly widowed with human touch. Just, listen (if you can). These first-person stories are so important amongst all the other noise. Those two shadowy figures are inspecting the front window for cracks after their Wiffle ball hit it hard, and they have no idea I’ve witnessed the whole thing. It reminds me of one of my dad’s favorite childhood stories. Sitting on the porch under a quilt, working. Checked the mail. Gut punch. Thought I was out. ⬜️🟫 “Boys, go outside and draw something happy on the sidewalks.” I went outside 40 minutes later to take a walk. At first I thought, This is all they drew? Then I looked down the sidewalk. “We drew 107 of them!” they said. Their goal is a 1,000 before it rains. They’re out there now. I’m a bit perplexed because I don’t know how many things I’ve suggested they can do in lieu of screen time and THIS is what they’re currently obsessed with. But I will 100 percent take it. (Also, thanks to our neighbor Scott for buying chalk for all the kids on the street and encouraging this. Not sure if it’s what he had in mind but this mama is loving it! ) I usually go to bed after midnight. Tonight I went to bed a little early. Turned on my ceiling fan ... check on your friends with stir-crazy kids who have nothing else to do tomorrow (after NIT) but plan pranks. We are not OK. Twelve candles in a homemade cherry pie. A friend sneaking over early morning to fill the yard with pinwheels and the sweetest sign. A huge flower delivery from Grandma. Pork with the magic green sauce, layered scalloped potatoes, Caesar salad, warm bread. Tea from the glass pitcher you made earlier today. Red high-top Converse that look impossibly big. Brush markers in all the colors. Twenty-some of the sweetest notes, pictures, drawings and texts from family and friends. Pop pop practicing all day on his new guitar to play “Happy birthday” for us all on Zoom. Clapping and laughter and loved tinged with sadness in the acknowledgment that the world is different right now, you want your grandparents at your birthday dinner, a canceled sleepover is a bummer and the bitter is sometimes a bit brighter than the sweet the older you become. Growing up can be so hard but all your genuine smiling today and hugs reminded me of the grace that comes with maturity and, despite the eye rolls, how much you’ve learned. 12, almost 13. How? I’m so lucky I get to be this kid’s mom. This is from Tomie dePaola’s Book of Poems (a fitting poem, by Emily Dickinson, art by Tomie dePaola). Strega Nona was one of my favorite childhood books ... “Bubble, bubble, pasta pot; Boil me some pasta, nice and hot.” He was one of the first people in the picture book field to accept my FB friend request despite my having no fame in the field, and I always thought that was so gracious of him (even if it was an intern or assistant who did it). I loved his Art-Mail, which he so generously shared with all of us. I was so sad to hear of his death. First meal of the year outside and playing on Sophie’s new yoga swing. I told them if they cracked their heads open Mom and Dad would have to play doctor to fix it ... (they love this thing!). After spending all day working on a story, I had a date dinner of takeout @grassrootsandvine with this guy on our front porch. I even wore the velvet top I had planned to wear on our date to see Tommy Emmanuel at the Taft (which was rescheduled for July). Grateful for work and this weather. For strings, Sophie has to record at least 20 minutes of practice each day. Today though, her teacher said if they submitted a picture of them practicing in a silly place, they could skip practice tomorrow. Hence, this picture. (We made sure she was totally safe.) Thankful for creative, fun and flexible teachers during this time. (It was a bit of a nightmare after when the boys insisted they wanted to play their recorders on the roof and we refused but that’s another story.) Also, we have a teddy bear in our window for any local kiddos going on a bear hunt! Love? notes while working. (Second one refers to electronics of course.) This is the most beautiful game I’ve ever played. Wingspan, Christmas gift to the kids from Nini and Pop Pop. Also, Went up to the attic and found ALL my wallet-sized school pictures! Remember those? So many have notes on the back too! And then I found my 4th grade picture. Best school picture ever. (It was a very unfortunate haircut.) 275, Friday night. Quiet. Friday vibes: sunshine, windows open, long walk up next, virtual happy hour on deck, this tee. (To be fair, the kids bother — I mean, ask us for help — equally. But Andy’s office is in the basement so I’m more visible. Today though, all I gotta do is point to the tee!) Also, I don’t know how to take selfies.
    TAP

  • Favorite Essays

    Choosing Compassion in a Culture of Fear

    Seeking the Bigness in the Everyday

    The Love in Trying

    The View from Up High

    Season of Innocence

    The Huffington Post guest post: Apologies to the Parents I Judged Four Years Ago, a TIME's top 10 opinion piece in 2012

    Simple

    Changing Love

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