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Things That Have Recently Upset My Children

March 3, 2015 – 4:06 pm

• He discovered he had hair on his arms (Owen). • The framed picture on his bedside table shows him wearing long sleeves and long pants, but he wants to be wearing short sleeves and shorts—in the picture (James). • Snow got into his mitten (Owen). • Only half the puppy tattoo stuck to her hand […]

By kara | Posted in All | Also tagged James, Owen, parenting, Sophie, upset | Comments (3)
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    Andy's dad died unexpectedly yesterday, and we are heartbroken. He loved to read, and he and I have long bonded over books – in the early years, Barbara Kingsolver; most recently, Jesmyn Ward. He loved good music and he introduced me to many fine musicians. Although he sometimes had little patience for humans, I've never met a more gentler, kinder caretaker of living things – the houseplants he tended to all his life, the birds he fed and the many fine labradors he raised. He was deeply inquisitive about the world we live in, which is why I'm struggling so much to understand why he felt he needed to leave it. He loved to capture our world – on vacations it would not be uncommon to find binoculars, a film camera and a video camera all strapped around his neck. He was a harsh critic but that only made his recent compliments to me so dear – a song I sang, time spent in the kitchen, words that I had written. He hated Trump. He adored his grandchildren. He loved baseball. He always had candy in his pockets – Werther's, Canada pink mints, jelly beans, Double Bubble – of which my kiddos were well aware. He always had extra for them. I hate this. I hate this so much. I suppose you never truly know someone's inner battles and all you can do is love your someones as best as you can. So I will try to remember the good moments (there were many) and I will think of him every time I read a sentence so beautiful that I have to put the book I'm holding down for awhile (he did that often) and every time I tend to my African violets, of which he helped me nurture so well. I just wish I could have told him all of this in person. The kids and my nieces were playing in the spare bedroom, my old bedroom, at my parents’ house this weekend. They wanted more light and couldn’t figure out how to open the linen shade so they made their own drapery tie ... out of toilet paper. My mom asked Sophie to make her a cake for her birthday. Sophie made a gondola for the top (to reflect an upcoming trip), yellow roses (my mom’s favorite) with vines, and then Sophie made “quilt squares” where she drew pictures of the places my parents have visited. The heat and car ride made things a bit droopy by the time we arrived but my mom calmed all of Sophie’s tears, just as she’s done as a mom for more than half her life. Happy birthday, Mom! And happy birthday to Natalie, my sweet, red-headed niece who was born the day my mom turned 60. We had so much fun celebrating this weekend! Our Girl Scout troop was able to participate in the (very hot but fun) NKY Picnic Table Project community picnic this weekend. And now the table has found its happy home at Woodfill Elementary. messy porch, happy cat James is having an ok summer. The dust on these individually hand-formed Murano glass petals finally got to me (despite all the other cleaning I should be doing for Andy’s birthday celebration tomorrow). Thirty-some petals unscrewed, washed and drying, 40-some to go. This chandelier is a b**** to clean. But to this day it’s still my greatest Craigslist find and a testament to Andy’s great patience with, and love for, me. ❤️ http://www.pleiadesbee.com/2012/03/our-chandelier.html I spent the weekend with my dear friend, Linda. She owns a beautiful patch of land in Three Forks, KY, and each night we sat on her front porch and watched thousands of fireflies rise out of the Queen Anne’s lace-filled meadows, up into the trees, and it was just magical. Thank you, Linda, for your never-ending generosity and love. I can’t wait to see you again! That yellow floor! yesterday morning, Three Forks, KY last night, Three Forks, KY The kids have spent the last week building Jupiter a multi-room castle out of boxes (it takes up half the entry). Today they wired up a disco ball for him in his “living room” and now I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to ask them to tear the thing down because, well, how could you? The car might be totaled, Andy threw out his back, the deck railing broke, Andy got stung by a wasp and now suspects a nest on our porch, the gutters are clogged so we have tarps draping two sides of our house that need adjusted in every storm and tonight we left the boys’ rained-out baseball game muddy and wet. Small things, in the scheme of things. But also: A dear friend dropped these off today, my parents took the boys tonight and early this evening our yard was filled with neighbors cutting and stacking wood. ❤️ (Thank you.) My sister pointed out the irony of our current situation. Our is on our . Summer!
    TAP

  • Favorite Essays

    Choosing Compassion in a Culture of Fear

    Seeking the Bigness in the Everyday

    The Love in Trying

    The View from Up High

    Season of Innocence

    The Huffington Post guest post: Apologies to the Parents I Judged Four Years Ago, a TIME's top 10 opinion piece in 2012

    Simple

    Changing Love

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