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Choosing Compassion In a Culture of Fear

March 10, 2016 – 9:57 am

A couple years ago, as I was loading Sophie into the van after a morning of half-day kindergarten, two men approached me. Their car had run out of gas on 27 and they wondered if I would give them a ride to a gas station. I believe most people are good and kind. I give […]

By kara | Posted in All | Also tagged Albert Einstein, compassion, Joe, parenting, strangers, This I Believe | Comments (0)
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    Spent today looking at similar cheekbones across generations. My grandma made soup (even though I told her not to cook, I’d bring something), insisted on another dip of ice cream, and when I left said, when talking about memories, “you’ll always have today.” I will. This dreary Wednesday has been made much better by these gold velvet shoes with peacocks embroidered on them, which were delivered today. (James is appalled.) Although the West Hollywood Bodhi Bookstore closed in 2010 after more than 40 years in business, they’ve maintained an online commercial presence. That, too, is sadly ending (they’re having a huge sale if you’re in need of some smudge sticks or books on enlightenment). I bought some stones for the hell of it (Andy’s been surprisingly nonjudgmental about this). This particular one is supposed to “heighten mental clarity and stability in otherwise chaotic situations.” Between that one and my pocketed sodalite (also known as the poet’s stone it’s said to “ease communication and self-expression”) and nightly cappuccinos lovingly made by Drew, I am almost done with the big part of Honest Labour, a book I am super passionate about but have failed to finish editing for several years due to other work, children and life (procrastination is made easier when the author is dead). Maybe once done I can switch to my new yellow aventurine stone, which apparently will help me foster ease and balance. And then my yellow tiger eye stone as I move forward with “passion and determination” to convince y’all to buy it (seriously, it’s a book of essays—even non-woodworkers will love it). [Edit to add Andy just came up here to ask about James who can’t sleep, and I said not to worry, I gave him a stone to help. He’s now being judgmental about the stones. 🤣🧘‍♀️) That kid in the middle in the white scored a couple baskets today ... My own family regularly baffles me. Five people live in this house. I love age 9. But sometimes, especially when I’m working late at night, I look at this picture on my desk and I have this deep, primal urge to scoop those babies up and hold them to my chest. And it hurts. This picture is so accurate, in every way. The outfits, the expressions, Owen’s split ear (thankful for the dear friend at our party who also is an emergency medicine PA). This last decade has been kid-heavy, for which I’m deeply grateful. There has been great joy. Also, deep sorrow. But we’re not special. No one walks through time without scars. I’ve lived long enough to now know that sometimes the truths of the matter are the hardest to bear. And maybe it’s my background in journalism but I will always seek and desire those truths, no matter how hard. For they, along with all we share so publicly, is the makeup of life, real life. Smiles and split ears. All of it. Tonight I gave out many kisses, sad but mostly happy, knowing we get to turn several timeline pages—a year, a decade, 20 years. Today’s strong winds did not go unnoticed. Cheers ❤️ WinterFest Gebhart family Christmas ❤️ Cincinnati Ballet’s The Nutcracker in beautiful Music Hall where we were so impressed with Sophie’s good friend Morgan (a party boy) and James’s classmate Madeline (a cupcake). Dinner in OTR followed. It was a melting of both sides of the family—as my family arrives, Andy’s departs and we have more Christmas to come. Christmas Eve / Christmas morning / Uhl family Christmas ❤️ Santa ❤️ Merry Christmas ❤️ Christmas cookies, a tradition since Lizz and Andy were kids. They take almost all day to make, and when you join the family you have to work up to being allowed to ice—three flavors always: lemon, orange and almond. (I was a sprinkler for awhile.) These were Marty’s favorite cookie and every year he spent hours on the dough, cutting and baking. Andy took over last year. He said it was hard. It still is. But the cookies, and tradition, is still sweet. Bittersweet, I suppose, best describes it. Nonpareils everywhere (and plenty in the kids’ mouths). The inside! Sophie says the colors were much more swirly before baking Today we celebrated Carmen (now 3!) and Freya’s (now 1!) birthdays, which are both in December. Sophie made them a Paw Patrol cake (and the inside was tie-dye!). James and Grandma’s new puppy, Murphy ❤️ Owen had to sit in the interrogation chair after being accused of falsely claiming he had brushed his teeth. According to one of our detectives, the kid tube of toothpaste was missing, something she discovered when she went to brush. A detailed investigation followed, including a breathalyzer from Io who confirmed the accused’s breath did not smell minty fresh. Io then secured the suspect by sitting on him. James, brother to the accused, found the tube of toothpaste — it was clean. The accused has never managed to put toothpaste on his brush without making a mess. Sweating under the hot light, Owen awaited his punishment. But then, a twist! James called us back into the bathroom to point out toothpaste in the sink, which had just been cleaned earlier in the day. This, James said, proved Owen’s innocence. The suspect was released. Edit to add: It just occurred to me that perhaps James planted toothpaste in the sink to secure Owen’s freedom. I asked, and they tried so hard to keep a straight face ... I told them we’re moving to full-blown trial tomorrow.
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  • Favorite Essays

    Choosing Compassion in a Culture of Fear

    Seeking the Bigness in the Everyday

    The Love in Trying

    The View from Up High

    Season of Innocence

    The Huffington Post guest post: Apologies to the Parents I Judged Four Years Ago, a TIME's top 10 opinion piece in 2012

    Simple

    Changing Love

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